dignity

recently
everything was going not smooth
even the worst case.
i really tired with this kind of condition
although explain but also useless
i just can keep quite
keep all the things inside my heart as a secret
i always try said to myself
"never mind, just a new challenge, it will be over as soon.."
however
it is not as easy as i think when i do it
although i was tried to solve everything but the situation get more worst than before
just like the god is started to leave me slowly...

i want to solve all the things!
when i haven't start to do anything, another problem had come
1+1=2, ok i can handle
2+1=3, no a kind of problem
however, the problem is come out day by day
i'm still haven't finish the task but the problem was keep coming to find me
it made my confident lose at all
sometimes i feel like wanna cry
i'm stress, and tired without happiness...

even family member also not understand me
just keep scolding me
didn't support what i had done
i nearly collapse when i need to bear some fault which is not related with me
i cannot talk back with them because they are my lovely people
i just like a prisoner...
if cry is the only way i can do to forget all the thing i wish to do it
however, cry is just a way to run away
so i didn't cry
i keep to make it to become better but no people appreciate with it
although i don't mind at all but i just hope that they can talk with me
just like the feeling before, got talk, got smile...
i already have a long period didnt have this kind of feeling

maybe i'm still childish
working and keep working.... i still can accept that kind of life
i think it is meaningful
no people respect me? never mind i will make you all respect me in the future
people doubt on my ability, never mind
people doubt on my leadership, never mind
please, do not challenge with my dignity
i can stand ston there ju because of my only dignity, although i very tired summore collapse!!!!!